


The Strangers We've Become

by RyShik



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Self-Hatred, for kuroken and bokuaka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29426427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyShik/pseuds/RyShik
Summary: Volleyball is just another thing Tsukishima's left behind. Add it to the list, just below Karasuno, Miyagi, and Yamaguchi.But it's what he deserves, or so he tells himself.(or: post-karasuno tsukkiyama h/c)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6
Collections: Haikyuu!! Valentine Exchange





	The Strangers We've Become

**Author's Note:**

  * For [artiemisia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artiemisia/gifts).



> this is my piece for the HQ valentine's exchange for artie!! i took bits and pieces of each of your prompts and came up with this idea, so i really hope you enjoy it! it was super fun to write!!

Tsukishima’s life was mechanical.

He didn’t have any issue with that - not really. Every aspect of his life was controlled by routine; when he went to sleep, what he ate, where he went, who he spent time with, all of it. That routine brought with it an unfamiliar, if not comforting, sense of simplicity. Gone was the chaos of high school and his brief stint in university - all replaced by method and, at times, repetition. Still, though, Kei didn’t really mind. All that had changed between university and now was the location of his living space; the one-bedroom apartment he’d been leasing was only slightly less cramped than the dorm he shared. 

Every morning he would wake up at precisely 8:15, spend five minutes lying in bed, waking up, before showering and making a hasty breakfast. He was out of the building by 8:35 every day. 

At 8:50, he caught the morning train at Ueno Station to his workplace, the Tokyo National Museum, where he would stay until 4:30. Some nights, he’d go drinking with his coworkers - though it was strictly out of a sense of obligation, and he made damn sure he stayed well enough away from the bottle. No matter what, he was back in his apartment by 10:00 at the latest, and was in bed by 11:00.

Rinse and repeat, ad infinitum.

As much as he’d gotten lost in the routine, though, some nights, he’d lie awake for hours, just staring at the slightly dingy ceiling. There was something missing. He’d worked out that much from the hollow pit in his chest which had yet to close over, all these years later.

At one point, he thought he might’ve been lonely, but that was ridiculous. After all, there was a significant difference between actually being lonely, and being alone. 

Tsukishima never really cared for other people, to be honest. People were troublesome in general, and he had a reputation for being acerbic and uncaring. His dry sense of humor, lack of social skills, and inexpressive face did little to help in that regard. For a small while, though, he’d broken out of that mold, but it didn’t last.

Nothing really did, in his experience. 

That’s not to say that he didn’t have friends, though. He and his old roommate, Kuroo, kept in touch pretty regularly, even if the rooster-haired chem student was a pain in the ass. Some of his coworkers were alright enough in his book too - he’d hit it off pretty well with one of the part-timers when he was new, though he and Udai didn’t really talk much outside of work. As for his old classmates and teammates, he made a deliberate effort to avoid them. 

He didn’t deserve to take up their time. Had no right.

 _Besides_ , he told himself, _being alone isn’t that bad._

Being alone meant no mess, no stress. He truly enjoyed time with just himself and his thoughts, leaning on the railing of his well-maintained balcony, as he was doing right that second. It meant he had more time to work on his passion projects too. So many people complained about not being able to work a stable job and pursue their dreams at the same time, and Kei was lucky enough to not be among them. 

So it was impossible that, of all things, he was lonely. Ridiculous, even.

He sighed, his breath fogging in front of him, courtesy of the frigid winter air, when his phone drew him from his thoughts. Without even checking the Caller ID, he pulled it from his pocket and answered it. There was only one person who’d bother to call him at this time of night.

“What is it, Kuroo,” he deadpanned.

 _“Hello to you too, Kei. How does this wonderful evening find you, my beloved?”_ Came Kuroo, his shit-eating grin audible.

Tsukishima grunted, “It's just a Tuesday. What else is there to say? Do you want a detailed rundown of my day, mother?”

 _“God no,”_ came Kuroo, _“I avoid museums for a reason, thank you very much.”_

Tsukishima hummed, “I suppose being illiterate is as good a reason as any.”

_“Ouch. You wound me, Kei. I’m bleeding out as we speak.”_

“Good. Succumb.” 

He heard Kuroo click his tongue on the other end, _“So rude. Anyways, can I ask you a favor?”_

“After last time? And the time before? Definitely not,” Tsukishima said, his face scrunching at the memories. Kuroo’s “favors” almost always ended, predictably, in disaster and secondhand embarrassment.

 _“C’mon Kei, it’s not even_ that _bad this time, promise!”_

“What’s in it for me?”

For a moment, all that Tsukishima could hear across the line was total silence. 

_“...My eternal gratitude?”_

Tsukishima felt his eyebrow twitch involuntarily, “Try harder, or I’m hanging up. Do I need to remind you about the python incident? Or how about when you stained my entire bathroom pink because you wanted to dye your hair? I _still_ can’t get that shit out of my bathtub.”

 _“In fairness, I made that look_ work _.”_

“No comment. So, what’ll it be, Kuroo?”

Kuroo huffed, _“Fine, fine. I’ll bring you some pastries from that bakery by campus, how’s that?”_

“Oh? Suddenly I’m interested.”

_“Funny how that works. When’s your next day off?”_

Tsukishima pressed his lips together, “Strictly speaking, I’m off tomorrow, but I had-”

 _“Don’t even think of telling me you had plans, Tsukki,”_ Kuroo cut in, _“You and I both know that your idea of a good time is reading a paleontology magazine or some shit. Besides, this’ll only take like half an hour.”_

“Fine,” Kei grunted, “What is it?”  
  
_“You remember Bo? I think the last time you saw him was at one of Kenma’s launch parties.”_

Tsukishima smirked, “You mean one of the launch parties _you_ took it upon yourself to throw for Kenma?”  
  
_“Semantics, semantics. Anyways, ring any bells?”_

“Unlike you,” he sighed, “I have a functioning brain. So yes, I remember Bokuto. I couldn’t forget the hell you two put me through at those training camps if I tried, and believe me, I have. What about him?”

_“His boyfriend, Akaashi, is planning something for their anniversary. Naturally, I volunteered to help, but he told me that I couldn’t on account of “not being able to keep anything from Bokuto-san”, and also just being a pain in general.”_

“That tracks. So where do I come in?”

_“Jeez, Tsukki. Not even gonna back me up here? Defend my honor against this egregious assault?”_

“You wouldn’t know what honor was if it hit you upside the head. Get to the point.”

_“Fiiiine. I’m gonna give your number to Akaashi and he’ll tell you what he needs. Said it shouldn’t take that long.”_

Tsukishima stifled a yawn and walked back inside his apartment, “Sure, sounds good. That’s all?”

_“For now, at least. If anything else comes up I’ll let you know.”_

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kuroo chuckled, _“Well, since I’ll be delivering those pastries to you, all the way across Tokyo, I might add, I think I’m entitled to a little delivery fee, no?”_

“No.”

_“Sorry, Tsukki, what’s that? Oh no, I think the signal is breaking up!”_

Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed, “Kuroo, what are you planning? Tell me this instant, you little shit, or I swear to every god that’s listening I’ll-”

_“Can’thearyousorrythanksbye!”_

Before Kei could respond, the line went dead. With one last heaving sigh, he tossed his phone onto his couch and plopped down beside it, contemplating the various forms of bodily harm he’d inflict on that shitty rooster. 

It was almost enough to bring a smile to his face.

* * *

Kei woke with a start to the sound of his phone going off rapid-fire, each obnoxious notification being cut off by another. His eyes still closed, he felt around blindly for the offending device, only to find he’d fallen asleep on the couch again.

Sitting up with a groan, Tsukishima opened his eyes, bleary from sleep, and unlocked his phone. He had seventeen new messages from an unknown number.

[03:19] **Spam Likely** : _Good evening, Tsukishima-san. This is Akaashi. Kuroo gave me your number._

[03:19] **Spam Likely** : _I apologize for contacting you at such a late hour, but I’d like to thank you in advance for offering your assistance._

[03:19] **Spam Likely** : _It has just occurred to me that Kuroo may have given me a false number. I apologize in advance for bothering you if this is the case._

[03:19] **Spam Likely** : _However, should you be Tsukishima-san, I-_

Tsukishima’s face scrunched up. It was too fucking late to deal with this. Too early? Either way, he couldn’t be bothered to read the rest of the messages. At a glance, they all seemed to be apologies for some nonexistent inconvenience or another. 

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, set Akaashi’s contact name, and started typing.

[03:20] **Me** : _akaashi-san this is tsukishima. with respect, could this have not waited until tomorrow_

[03:20] **akaashi-san** : _My apologies if I woke you. I was simply unable to sleep, and decided to busy myself with the source of my issues. Would you prefer to discuss this at a more suitable hour?_

[3:20] **Me** : _it’s fine. i’m awake now._

[3:20] **Me** : _i don’t understand why i’d be the source of your anxiety though_

[3:20] **akaashi-san** : _My apologies, I was not referring to you in particular. This entire process has been quite stressful. Keeping things from Bokuto-san is not something I excel at._

[3:21] **Me** : _i see. what was it you wanted me to do, then?_

Three dots flashed across his screen, lingering for long enough that Tsukishima decided to move to his bed, plugging his phone in as he pulled the covers over himself. 

[3:23] **akaashi-san** : _You see, Bokuto-san knows I’m up to something, and has been keeping a close eye on my whereabouts for a while now. I had intended to pick up the floral arrangement myself, but I have no doubt that he’s already staking out this particular shop, since an acquaintance of ours works there._

[3:24] **akaashi-san** : _If you could make your way to a flower shop called ReBloom, and pick up an order for “Mikiya-san,” that would be much appreciated. It shouldn’t take up much of your day, Kuroo informed me that you live nearby._

[3:24] **akaashi-san** : **_sent a location_ **

[3:25] **akaashi-san** : _Please keep the flowers at your home for the time being, I will come and pick them up tomorrow, when Bokuto-san is at practice._

[3:26] **Me** : _got it. do i need to pay for anything?_

[3:26] **akaashi-san** : _No, the acquaintance I mentioned insisted these flowers be free of charge. Thank you for your assistance, Tsukishima-san._

[3:27] **Me** : _no problem. i’ll let you know when i have them at my place._

[3:28] **akaashi-san** : _Much appreciated. Now, please get some rest, Tsukishima-san. I apologize once more for waking you. Have a good evening._

[3:28] **akaashi-san** : _Or, morning, I suppose._

[3:28] **akaashi-san** : _Oh, and if you run into Bokuto-san, please be as discreet as possible._

Tsukishima locked his phone with a huff, turning on his side, still halfway asleep. Those pastries had better be worth the sleep he’d lost and then some. Dealing with other people was such an inconvenience.

* * *

After waking late and spending a lazy morning in his apartment, Tsukishima pulled up the location Akaashi had sent him. Kuroo had been right, the shop was within walking distance, though it was a bit of a hike. Even so, he slipped into a loose-fitting shirt and matching jacket, coupled with a pair of skinny jeans, and made for the flower shop.

It took him all of 20 minutes to get there, and about half a second to turn around, a cold sweat already running down the back of his neck. 

The place looked nice enough, well-kept floral displays lining the wide, spotless windows. A chalkboard advertising sales (a cute doodle was pointing to an offer for 30% off on select pre-made bouquets) was placed outside the glass door, which, in turn, was framed by the red-brick exterior of the building. All in all, it looked very homey, even with Bokuto Kotarou leaning “inconspicuously” against a wall.

But it wasn’t Bokuto that had Tsukishima’s heart beating out of his chest. On the inside, behind the register, Kei caught a glance of none other than Sugawara Koushi, helping a customer check out with his trademark smile. To anyone else, it would have been a refreshing sight, but to Tsukishima, it reignited a years-old blaze of guilt in the pit of his stomach. 

As much as he wanted to go back home, call Akaashi, and let him down, Tsukishima was bound by obligation, and the last thing he wanted to do was contribute to the man’s anxiety levels. If the 3 AM texts were at all representative of how he was doing, then Akaashi probably needed a damn break. Besides, it’s not like leaving would make him feel any better, now that his past had found a new and exciting way to catch up with him.

So, Tsukishima pulled on a face mask, messed up his hair (which drew some curious looks from passers-by,) and steeled himself for the worst. As he approached the store, Bokuto side-eyed him, but didn’t initiate conversation. Maybe that meant his disguise was working? Maybe this wouldn’t be a _complete_ disaster after all?

A painfully familiar voice called out to him as he walked through the doors. A voice he couldn’t ever hope to forget. A voice that had long since etched itself into his heart.

“Tsu- Tsukishima?” came the voice of Yamaguchi Tadashi.

If there was a God, then surely Tsukishima was his least favorite creation. He turned, the color already drained from his face, to see… Yamaguchi?

His ears were pierced six ways to Sunday, complete with an industrial in his left ear, and a row of helix piercings on his right. His hair was much longer now, tied back in a loose ponytail and fading from dark green to a bright blond at the ends. If it wasn’t for his uniform, he would have looked entirely out of place in a store like ReBloom. 

But despite all that, it was unequivocally Yamaguchi. And had he just called Tsukishima by name? Not ‘Tsukki’?

“I-it _is_ you, right?” Yamaguchi continued, flushing slightly, “I mean you look different, but I-”

Tsukishima swallowed, his mouth far too dry, “Yes. It’s… been a while, Yamaguchi. You’re looking well.”

“Tsukishima…” he trailed off, “It’s been _years_. We were all so worried… Where did you go? Why did you leave so suddenly?” 

“I can’t… I can’t say. I’m sorry, Tadashi. I promise, I-”

Something about Yamaguchi’s expression changed - hardened, and he looked at Tsukishima with eyes that were utterly devoid of emotion, “Yamaguchi,” he corrected.

“What?” Tsukishima whispered, just loud enough that Yamaguchi heard.

“Please call me Yamaguchi,” he said, a slight tremor in his voice, “It’s quite clear that… That we don’t know the first thing about each other. I…”

He looked away, his eyes beginning to water, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. If you have an order to pick up, please ask Suga-” he caught himself, “I mean, please ask Sugawara-san.” 

With that, he walked away, through an “employees only” door, before Tsukishima could say anything else.

“Tsukishima…”

He turned again, and this time he was met with Sugawara’s concerned gaze. In his peripheral vision, he could see a few other customers looking on, though most simply minded their own business. 

“Sugawara-san,” Tsukishima cleared his throat, “Good afternoon. It’s lovely to see you again. I’m here to pick up an order for Mikiya-san.”

For no more than an instant, a flash of surprise flitted across Sugawara’s face, “Tsukishima… are you alright? Do you need-”

“What I need,” he cut in, tersely, “Is to pick up an order for a colleague.”

Suga winced, and Tsukishima almost felt bad about it. He looked Kei up and down, his face a near-perfect mask of concern. After all, it’d be ridiculous for Sugawara to feel anything but disdain towards Tsukishima.

 _Nothing less than I deserve,_ Tsukishima reminded himself.

Eventually, Suga sagged, his eyes full of sadness and worry, “Of course. The order’s all ready to go, I’ll just need you to sign off on it. If you could follow me to the register?”

Tsukishima obliged, and Suga brought out an arrangement that was nothing short of perfection; calla lilies at the center, complemented by a smattering of cosmos and zinnias, with some lavender to round off the color profile. It looked as delicate as glass, yet carried about itself a kind of unspoken resolve, almost like it _knew_ how beautiful it was, and was determined to prove it to the world. In a word, it was quintessentially Suga.

“Take care when carrying it around. It should hold together well enough, but if you drop it, well…” Suga winced again, “Just don’t, alright? This was a labor of love.”

Tsukishima nodded, “I’ll be careful. Thank you for your help, Sugawara-san.”

Suga looked at him again, smiling softly, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Tsukishima? I know it’s been a while, but…” he trailed off, sighing, “I don’t know. I’m sorry for Yamaguchi. He… Never mind. It’s not my place to say.”

“Don’t apologize for him, he’s not the one to blame,” Tsukishima muttered, his eyes downcast, “Take care, Sugawara-san. I’m glad you’re doing well for yourself.”

“I’ll see you again?” he said, hopefully.

Kei gave a rueful grin, “I doubt it. For what it’s worth, I-” he choked on the words, “I’m sorry. Could you tell Yamaguchi that much, for me?”

He’d already started to walk away, but just as he walked through the doorway, Suga spoke up, “Do it yourself when you come back, alright?”

Tsukishima didn’t have it in himself to respond.

* * *

Evening found Tsukishima standing on his balcony again. He’d managed to get the bouquet back with minimal issues, though climbing up three flights of stairs posed an interesting challenge, and the arrangement was large enough that it occupied most of his kitchen counter. If he’d been bothered, he could have texted Akaashi to let him know the flowers had made the trip safely.

Suffice it to say, that was the last thing on his mind.

Kei pulled a smoke from his jacket, fumbling around for his lighter before eventually bringing the flame to the end of the cig and taking a deep drag. He officially quit smoking in college, but he always kept a pack around in case of… unforeseen complications. He knew it was a shitty dependency to have, but it didn’t eat into his paycheck that much, and sometimes, he _really_ needed that feeling of something other than air in his lungs. That familiar tingle of nicotine, calming him, grounding him.

Now was one of those times. 

He felt his phone vibrate in one of his pockets. Probably Akaashi checking in on him, he figured. Not wanting to keep the poor man waiting, he took another drag, tapped the ashes off, and stubbed it out on the balcony railing. 

Walking back inside, he put the butt in the ashtray on the coffee table which occupied most of the floorspace in his pathetic excuse for a living room, and pulled out his phone. To his surprise, there were two messages from Kuroo. Odd. He preferred calling over texting. 

Not thinking much of it, Tsukishima sent off a message to Akaashi, letting him know he had the flowers, before opening his chat with Kuroo.

[21:37] **shitty rooster** : _yo tsukki im outside_

[21:39] **shitty rooster** : _like outside ur apt, could u let me in? gramps down the hall’s givin me a real weird look_

Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose. This was _not_ what he needed, but he knew that there was no force, earthly or divine, that could stop Kuroo from bothering him. When Kuroo came over unannounced, he always had some insipid agenda, and he wouldn’t leave until it was fulfilled. If that meant sleeping in a hallway? Kuroo really couldn’t give less of a shit. So, resigning himself to his fate, Tsukishima unlatched his door, and Kuroo waltzed in without a care in the world.

“Awww, no profanity this time! You’re no fun, Tsukki~” came Kuroo, wearing his signature grin. He was wearing a ratty hoodie and sweatpants, and if the bags under his eyes were any indication, he’d probably been cramming for the past several days. Despite all appearances, Tetsurou was very serious about his studies.

“You look like Kenma after the launch of Shadowbringers, but I don’t suppose you’ve been playing an MMO for 48 hours straight, right?” Tsukishima said, forcing himself to act as Kuroo would expect.

Kuroo walked past him, sitting on the floor by the coffee table. 

The coffee table.  
  
The cig.

Shit.

With a sigh, Kuroo picked up the cigarette butt with two fingers, “Tsukki, we’ve talked about this,” he put it back, nose wrinkling at the smell, “Smoking’s a fucked up coping mechanism. You’ll regret it one day, you know?”

Tsukishima clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into the skin, “What do you want, Tetsurou. I’m _really_ not in the mood to fucking humor you now, okay? Come back tomorrow if you want to rope me into some stupid shit.”

Kuroo hummed, “Well, a little birdie told me that you’ve had an… interesting day,” he cocked his head to lock eyes with Tsukishima, “Wanna talk about it? It’ll help, promise.”

“Just get to the point. No games, if you’d be so kind,” Tsukishima said, barely keeping his tongue in check.

“Fine,” Kuroo conceded, falling on his back, “Sugawara told Akaashi, who told Kenma, who told me. Happy?”

Something inside of Tsukishima snapped, “No, I’m not fucking happy! Why the FUCK do you care, huh, Tetsu?”

If Kuroo was hurt or surprised, he didn’t show it, “‘Cause I care about you, Tsukki, ain’t that obvious? Clearly you’ve got some shit goin’ on, and I wanna do all I can to help. You were there for me when Kenma and I were going through that rough patch a few years ago, and every time before and after that.”

Kei scoffed, “So it’s out of obligation, then? Pity? I don’t fucking need it, Kuroo, save it for someone who…”

“Someone who..?” Kuroo echoed.

“Someone who deserves it, that’s who, you two-bit fuckwit!” he snapped.

He sighed and got to his feet, “I figured it’d be like this. Do you want me to leave?”

Tsukishima laughed sharply, “What gave you that idea?”

Kuroo shrugged, and had the nerve, the _fucking nerve_ , to grin at Kei, “I dunno, call it intuition,” he said, walking past Tsukishima again, and opening the door, “Sorry in advance, by the way.”

“Sorry for what, huh? What did I say about games you-” Tsukishima’s tirade was cut off by the door closing. 

Before he could so much as breathe, though, he heard someone knocking on the door. His face contorting in anger, he threw the door open, “What the fuck is your gambit, you shitty-”

It wasn’t Kuroo at the door, though.

No, instead, Sugawara stood there, his face completely neutral, dressed casually. He gave Kei that same damn smile he used to lift everyone’s spirits when the odds seemed impossibly stacked against them on the court, “Good evening, Tsukishima.”

“I- Sugawara? How?”

“Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i know there wasn't much tsukkiyama here, but trust me, that's going to change soon! chapter 2 will be up by this friday!!
> 
> and artie, i sincerely hope you enjoyed/enjoy this piece! i would encourage you all to follow her on tumblr @artiemisiaa or twitter @artiesrivera!
> 
> as for myself, you can find me on twitter @shik_ry
> 
> thank you all for reading, and see you soon!


End file.
